I completed a project!

I completed my first home project since I got sick today.  It was a tiny project and it took me all day but I did it.  Unfortunately I have no pictures to show you because I didn't finish it until it was already dark.  Remember, the all day thing?  I plan on taking some tomorrow after getting home from chemo so I can share.

Until then I have a problem that has bugged me since we bought this house seven years ago.  All the doors are wood.  None of them are painted.  All the trim is painted so I don't know why they left the doors wood.  It's not like they are made out of fabulous expensive wood.  Just builder grade wood hollow doors.  Another thing is most of them are in my hallway which is dark as a tomb most of the time.

This is the view from one end.  The color looks a bit bluer than it really does in person.

 This is the view from one end at night.  Isn't that builder grade ceiling light from the 1970's just fabulous?  I know you are dying to get one for your house.

   

 

This is from the master doorway using flash.  There was no way to take this picture without flash.

This is the view you get when you walk in the front door from the foyer.  That's Rickey Hill peeking in the bottom left corner.

I know all this yummy wood grain is making you drool.  It's just so woody....  LB and I have a couple of ideas we are kicking around.  Hope you had a great weekend!

What would you do if all this wood goodness was in your hallway?

LOVE, LOVE, KISS, KISS!

SNM

Eating the Poisoned Apple Knowing it is Poison

I know I've been gone a long time.  There are lots of reasons and most of them are not pleasant.  Cancer sucks, I've said it for years, but chemo sucks so bad words can't describe.  I knew it wasn't a walk in the park.  I knew the doctors told me I couldn't work.  I knew it would make me really sick.  I knew all of the details.  I didn't know I was so clueless about how truly life altering it was really going to be.  I thought I would feel bad for a little while and then the rest of the time between chemo treatments I thought life would be basically normal.  NOTHING is normal when you are taking chemo.

I cut my hair and donated it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths because I knew it was going to fall out and I didn't see any point in it just falling to the floor when it could be used for a good cause.

I went and had my third surgery to have a port put in.  The port was so I wouldn't have to have my veins punctured repeatedly every time I went to chemo.  Because of the number of treatments I was to receive my Doctor wanted the port to be put in.  Thank God that woman knows what she is doing.  It makes chemo easier on me and I'm so glad I listened to all the advice and did it.  After all the other surgery scars what was a couple more.  The surgery was pretty easy and I'm so glad I have it now.  They draw blood out of it and give me all the medications for chemo in it all with only one stick.

  I went to my first chemo with a smile on my face and Fifi La Fluer to hold my hand.  (One of these days I'll have to tell you all about Fifi.  She and I go way back and have done a lot together.)

Good Lord I didn't know how things would change after that first chemo.  The day I went to chemo I felt fine.  While the first medicine was going in all the sudden my eyes went wonky.  I realized all the sudden the letters on my phone just looked like a honeycomb.  That was pretty strange.  Called the nurse and they slowed the medicine down and everything went back to normal.  The rest of the treatment went fine and we went to lunch when I was done.  That should've been my first clue things were about to change.  But no, I was still going along in my happy go lucky bubble. 

The day after my first chemo I felt a little off but I was still okay.  Mrs. BugEater came up to visit and I was so glad she was here.  I went and got the shot to help my bones produce more blood cells and we hung out.  I thought I was going to be able to handle this.  Day three I felt a little more off but pretty good until noon.  That's when I started feeling the nausea pretty bad.  I called the oncologist and they called in a nausea medicine and I thought it would be okay.  By that night I was certain something was wrong and I was going to die.  The next 4 days are pretty much a complete blur of illness the likes I have never experienced.  To say it knocked me off my feet is a complete understatement.  Holy crap I was SICK.

The second week after my treatment I started feeling more like myself but I was weak as water.  S-i-L and my girls came to see me and they brought some sunshine to the house.  We didn't run around like we usually do but we were having a good time.  On day ten late that night I sat down at my computer for the first time since my first chemo and I was reading email.  I sneezed, which normally isn't anything of note, and when I opened my eyes I realized there was a LOT of hair on the desk.  I mean a lot.  I touched my hair and a big ole wad of hair came out in my hand.  And so it begins.  The next morning it was even worse and it really bugged me.  Not because I was upset about it coming out but because it was everywhere.  I had a plan and it really didn't upset me.  The Nelson was way more upset than I was and she was certain I was going to be crushed.  It just really bugged me so I called LB and told him when he got home I wanted him to shave ever bit of it off.  Later that day my dear hair magician called to see how I was and I explained it was coming out and LB was going to shave it.  He wouldn't hear of it and told me to meet him at the shop and he would do it.

So we had some fun shaving it off.  Pink mohawk anyone?

Then it was all gone and bald I was.  Turns out my head is shaped just like my Daddy's was.  And it's not so pretty on a girl.  But it is what it is and I'm really okay with it.

Fifi got some new scrubs so she would be already to go to treatment number two.  I got new hair to wear.  This is a Raquel Welch wig and I get complements every time I wear it.  Having it to use as soon as we shaved my head helped a lot.  People who have known me for years don't even know it isn't my real hair.

Treatment number 3 and Fifi is still hanging in their with me.

LB has come to chemo a couple of times.  It makes him antsy which in turn makes me antsy.  It takes literally hours to do.  I finally told him I need him for lots of things but there is no reason for him to go to chemo every time.  When I want an Icee at 10p.m. he's my man but not at chemo.

It's been a really long hard road that I am still traveling.  I've been so sick getting from the bed to the recliner is an accomplishment.  But I'm still here and I've decided to try and do what I can to be as normal as possible. Being sick and sitting here in my head isn't a good thing.  I'll share more in the coming days.  I'm going to try and pay a little more attention to this blog from now on.

When LB was gone for four weeks the Phade came and stayed with me.  I couldn't have done it without her help.  DB has checked on me and spent time with me when no one else visited.  MAS has picked up the slack from me not being able to work and done too many things to list.  The outpouring of love and concern has humbled me.  So many people have done so many things I couldn't thank them individually if I had days to type.  I know all the prayers have helped me all along.  In the face of such terrible illness I have seen God at work in my life and I thank him every day.  I have learned there is always, ALWAYS something to be thankful for.  God is good.  He is always watching his flock.

Going to chemo is truly like eating the poisoned apple knowing it is poison.  I hope you have been doing fun things this summer since I haven't been able to.

LOVE, LOVE, KISS, KISS!

SNM